Curses or Drat! These flipping iceholes are full of spit!
Why do we use euphemisms for "curse" words? We all know what we actually mean. We're all adults here ladies and gentlemen. It's fucking stupid. They're just words, and we use variations to specifically not use them. They overdub movies with them all the time. To what purpose? So kids can't hear them? Should I "think about the children"? Well, you know what? I am. Let's be honest. Can you think of anything funnier than a six year old saying, "I want a fucking cookie." in his adorable wittle voice? No you can't. You're depriving the world of endless humor with your linguistic prudishness.
You're also fucking up perfectly good movies on commercial television. The most egregious example of this is Die Hard 2. This was a fairly shitty movie, almost a rehash of the original. Switch tall building with sprawling airport and German for American terrorists and you pretty much have the same movie. It's even worse when you take out the cursing. I want to hear John McClane say fuck a lot. In fact, he could put a "fuck" or "shit" in every sentence and I'd be the happiest mother fucker on the planet. I think we can all agree that the first Die Hard is in the top five best action movies of all time. It was chocked full of fairly clever riffs by John McClane, but its most notable line was "Yippee-ki-ay mother fucker." So they of course brought that line back in the sequel. It's apropos of nothing, but there it is, at the end of the movie when John lights some gasoline leaking from a plane in order to blow it up. I don't know if that's physically possible, but it was pretty fucking cool. And I have to say that when I saw Die Hard 2 in the theatre it gave me a little thrill when it was uttered in this otherwise crappy movie. Fast forward to the year 1999. I found myself watching Die Hard 2 on commercial television some lazy Sunday. There's a lot of cursing in the movie, all of which was overdubbed. It was all pretty unintentionally funny, but then the climactic moment came. Bruce Willis flipped open his zippo as he lay in the snow and said, "Yippee-ki-ay Mr. Falcon." Huh? Mr. Falcon? That's the overdub? You may be thinking that the bad guy's last name was Falcon. You'd be wrong. There were no falcons in the movie, not even swooping in to peck at John's eyes before he could trap them in a room to blow them up with some C4(which would have been sweet). Mr. Show did a sketch about overdubs in which they replaced "mother fucker" with "mother father", but that would have been a marked improvement over "Mr. Falcon."
In closing, fuck, shit, piss, asshole, cum, blowjob, cunt, pussy, God damn it, just say them.
You're also fucking up perfectly good movies on commercial television. The most egregious example of this is Die Hard 2. This was a fairly shitty movie, almost a rehash of the original. Switch tall building with sprawling airport and German for American terrorists and you pretty much have the same movie. It's even worse when you take out the cursing. I want to hear John McClane say fuck a lot. In fact, he could put a "fuck" or "shit" in every sentence and I'd be the happiest mother fucker on the planet. I think we can all agree that the first Die Hard is in the top five best action movies of all time. It was chocked full of fairly clever riffs by John McClane, but its most notable line was "Yippee-ki-ay mother fucker." So they of course brought that line back in the sequel. It's apropos of nothing, but there it is, at the end of the movie when John lights some gasoline leaking from a plane in order to blow it up. I don't know if that's physically possible, but it was pretty fucking cool. And I have to say that when I saw Die Hard 2 in the theatre it gave me a little thrill when it was uttered in this otherwise crappy movie. Fast forward to the year 1999. I found myself watching Die Hard 2 on commercial television some lazy Sunday. There's a lot of cursing in the movie, all of which was overdubbed. It was all pretty unintentionally funny, but then the climactic moment came. Bruce Willis flipped open his zippo as he lay in the snow and said, "Yippee-ki-ay Mr. Falcon." Huh? Mr. Falcon? That's the overdub? You may be thinking that the bad guy's last name was Falcon. You'd be wrong. There were no falcons in the movie, not even swooping in to peck at John's eyes before he could trap them in a room to blow them up with some C4(which would have been sweet). Mr. Show did a sketch about overdubs in which they replaced "mother fucker" with "mother father", but that would have been a marked improvement over "Mr. Falcon."
In closing, fuck, shit, piss, asshole, cum, blowjob, cunt, pussy, God damn it, just say them.
posted by Biggus Rickus | 8:26 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home