My First and Possibly Only Super Bowl Blog

I did something unusual for the Super Bowl this year. I watched the whole thing...at least to the point when Rexie plunged a dagger into his team's collective heart. There have been a lot of QBs play in the Super Bowl, but Grossman is the worst I've ever seen. I think I can back that opinion up with a string of five plays on consecutive possessions by the Bears. The first of these heroic feats of ineptitude came just before halftime. The Bears had been getting their asses kicked for about a quarter but only found themselves down by two. Indianapolis had just fumbled the ball to them during a drive when Rexie worked his magic, a fumbled snap on first down that was entirely his fault. It was recovered by Indy and it looked like they would seize full control of the game, but the Bears' defense held (as they inexplicably did for most of the evening when the Colts threatened) and Vinatieri had a nearly unheard of miss. The second half started with the Colts running off half the clock during a field goal drive. Finally, Rexie would have a chance to implement the adjustments the Bears made at the half. He started with a twelve yard dump to a running back. That was followed by a nine yard run. Suddenly the Bears were at midfield and looking like they may have figured something out. What they should have figured out long ago is that Rex Grossman is not an NFL QB. On second and one Rexie dropped back, was pressured and slipped down for an 11 yard loss. That happens. The field was wet. Rexie then proceeded to fumble his second snap out of five. He managed to pick this one up and fall down for a 10 yard loss. The Bears punted. I could have picked some ill-advised deep throws and two yard dumps when he had time to look downfield, but fumbling snaps should almost never happen when you're a pro QB. Two in back-to-back possessions is fucking inexcusable. The most amazing thing about this Super Bowl is that it wasn't 45-10.

Now let's talk commercials. I don't generally get into the commercial hype surrounding the Super Bowl. They're fucking commercials. They suck almost universally, and the Super Bowl just gives us more and longer commercials. However, since I watched the bulk of the game I saw some commercials and one of them disturbed me immensely. Those of you who saw them are probably thinking, "It was the two dudes kissing over a Snickers I bet." You'd be wrong. Others of you may think it was watching a man in a heart suit get the shit beat out of him by Batmannish (think '60s camp Batman) henchmen labeled "diabetes" and "obesity". Maybe you think watching a city's worth of men stripping off clothes and grinding on a car was as bad as it could get. While all three of those were disturbing in their own ways, I'm talking about something that would make a pederast necrophiliac cringe. It begins with Tim Allen and ends with William H. Macy. It is a movie with a notable cast that looks so bad I wouldn't accept money from others to see it, let alone actually give my own to someone else for the privelege. It is called "Wild Hogs" and it is apparently about middle-aged men and motorcycles. But that really doesn't sound like the worst movie with major stars you've ever heard of. Trust me, it is. I'll be including the trailer at the end if I can find it. Here's the cast (thank you IMDB): Tim Allen, John Travolta, John C. McGinley, Ray Liotta, Kevin Durand, Martin Lawrence, Marisa Tomei and William H. Macy. Now I realize that not all of those people are good actors. I think Tim Allen and William H. Macy go together like spam and everything else on the planet, but you should be able to make a movie with that cast appear viewable in a trailer. The trailer is supposed to be the best stuff, and if that's true in this case it will be a shitty movie indeed. Pay special attention for the cartoon sound effect when Travolta kicks some leaves. Maybe it's in the movie and maybe it's not. How much is it worth to you to find out?