Writers Writing Badly

Ah, so many writers strive to write elegant prose and convey as much as possible in the fewest words, but what happens when they use their writing powers for evil? Painfully awkward sentences with far too many commas and conjunctions and unneccessary five dollar words (odd that inflation hasn't upped the prices in at least fifty years) and cringe-inducing, grin-bringing metaphors is what. Here's my personal favorite:

"The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not calm or balmy or even very nice for those who did hear the scream, discounting the little period of time during the actual scream itself when your ears might have been hearing it but your brain wasn't reacting yet to let you know."

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